So, my husband signed us up for a Lamaze/birthing class that his workplace provides for free … this week, we had our first two classes. The first class was ok – just some basics about labor and when to go to the hospital. The second class was horrible mainly because my husband bailed on me for a business trip, so it was like a dozen couples and me. I was the thirteenth wheel. It was particularly awkward when people paired off with their significant others to do “labor poses” and I just sat there playing on my phone. I refused to do the poses with the teacher, who is like this really granola earth mother-y lady who has a super off-putting demeanor that I just can’t handle. She’s like Professor Trelawney, for all you Harry Potter fans out there. Too much eye contact and frequent, but weirdly slow, blinking.
Also, during the second class, we had to watch videos of ACTUAL LABOR. Like, really graphic videos of the business end of it. Frankly, I didn’t need to see that at all – I had a complete meltdown at the end when the teacher went around the room and asked each person what they learned from the video. Basically, this was our conversation in front of everyone:
Teacher: “And what did you learn?”
Me: “I don’t think I learned anything. That video was pure nightmare fuel.”
Teacher: “Birth is a beautiful thing! What about the video did you find frightening?”
Me: *looking around the room in disbelief* “Did you all not just watch the same movie I watched? That whole thing was horrifying!”
One of the husbands in the room: “Yeah, I thought it was horrifying.”
His wife: *elbows him in the side* “No, it’s not horrifying, it’s amazing.”
Me: “Oh fuck off, Joanne, it’s fucking horrifying.”
Anyway, so as you can see, I totally look forward to going to two more of these classes next week! 😀
To recover from that horrendous birth video, my sister and I went to the Museum of Ice Cream this week. We got tickets for the ice cream tasting ($38 each) and I have to say, it was NOT worth it. You get very little ice cream and the “experiments” you do are pretty basic. Plus, you can do 95% of the photo opps you see on Instagram in the Pint Shop for FREE, so really there’s no point in paying for the tasting unless you effectively want to spend $38 on a single pint of ice cream. Oh well, we had fun anyway – just not $38 worth of fun. 😀
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